POV: You’re about to understand
(and why that’s lowkey terrifying but also kinda exciting??)
For people who’d rather eat glass than read a finance textbook
⏱️ Reading time: However long your attention span lasts
(jk it’s actually pretty interesting, I promise)
Before We Start: A Vibe Check
Look, I get it. Finance content is usually delivered by:
- Boomers in suits who say ‘synergy’ unironically
- LinkedIn influencers who wake up at 4am (suspicious)
- Your uncle who won’t shut up about Bitcoin at Thanksgiving
This isn’t that. This is actual important stuff explained like a normal human being. No jargon. No ‘well actually.’ Just facts that might make you go ‘wait, WHAT?’ at least three times.
NOBODY:
ME: *explains why paper money is a scam*
Ready? Let’s get into it. 🚀
LEVEL 1
THE $76 QUESTION
Or: Why the government is basically running a very expensive arts & crafts project
Real quick: How much do you think it costs to print money?
Wrong. It’s $76 to print 1,000 bills. And the U.S. government spends over ONE BILLION DOLLARS every year just making paper rectangles.
The Government’s Yearly Paper Rectangle Budget:
| What They’re Doing | What It Costs |
| Printing 1,000 bills | $76 (seriously) |
| Yearly money-printing budget | $1.04 BILLION |
| Ink used DAILY (2 factories) | 8.9 TONS |
| India’s printing costs | $610 million/year |
Government: *spends $1 billion printing paper*
Also Government: ‘Why is there no money for [anything else]?’
💀 REAL TALK: Your phone can Venmo someone $1,000 in literally 3 seconds. Meanwhile, we’re out here running an entire INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX to make fancy paper that ends up going through the washing machine in your jeans.
It’s giving ‘we have technology at home’ energy but make it federal.
LEVEL 2
GOLD SAID ‘HOLD MY BEER’
Every Wall Street prediction? Destroyed. In 27 days.
Okay so you know how banks have these super smart analysts? PhDs? Billion-dollar computer models? The finest financial minds money can buy?
They all tried to predict where gold prices would go in 2025-2026.
They all missed. BADLY. In less than a month.
The L’s They Took (A Table):
| Bank | Their Prediction | Reality Check | Time to L |
| Goldman Sachs | $5,400 by Dec 2026 | 94% there already | 27 days 💀 |
| JP Morgan | $5,000-6,000 by Q4 | EXCEEDED | 27 days 💀 |
| Morgan Stanley | $4,500-4,800 mid-2026 | EXCEEDED | 27 days 💀 |
| Bank of America | $5,000 peak | EXCEEDED | 27 days 💀 |
| Citi | $3,000 (lol) | 70% past that | 27 days 💀 |
Gold hit $5,111 in January 2026. These predictions were for the WHOLE YEAR. It took 27 days.
🚫🧢 NO CAP: Central banks—the people who literally PRINT money—are buying gold like it’s limited edition Jordans. 60 tonnes a month for three years straight.
Central Banks: *prints money*
Also Central Banks: *buys gold because they don’t trust the money they print*
✨ THE VIBE: When the people who MAKE the money are buying something else instead, that’s not a red flag. That’s a red billboard.
LEVEL 3
THE ECONOMY SAID ‘PLOT TWIST’
Things that should NOT be happening… are happening
Quick economics lesson (I promise it’s short):
When the Federal Reserve CUTS interest rates, bond yields are supposed to go DOWN.
That’s like… the whole point. It’s literally Econ 101.
Except… bond yields are going UP. Despite rate cuts.
Economics Textbook: ‘Rate cuts = lower yields’
2026 Economy: ‘lmao no’
The 5 Reasons Everything Is Weird:
| The Problem | In Normal People Words |
| 1. Fiscal Dominance | Governments are borrowing SO MUCH that nothing else matters anymore |
| 2. Term Premium | Investors: ‘You want me to lend you money for 30 years? PAY ME MORE.’ |
| 3. Supply/Demand | 40% of all government bonds expire by 2026. Everyone’s refinancing at once. Chaos. |
| 4. Fed Independence | Markets: ‘Can the Fed actually do its job or is it just vibes?’ |
| 5. Japan Spillover | Japan is having a moment (more on this later) and it’s everyone’s problem |
💀 REAL TALK: The bond market is the biggest, most important market in the world. When it doesn’t follow the rules anymore, that’s not a glitch. That’s a feature telling you something is very wrong.
LEVEL 4
PAPER MONEY SPEEDRUN (ANY%)
Every currency fails. Every. Single. One.
Here’s a fun fact they don’t teach in school:
Paper money has a 100% failure rate.
Not ‘sometimes fails.’ Not ‘occasionally has issues.’ ONE. HUNDRED. PERCENT.
The Hyperinflation Hall of Shame:
| Country | How Bad | The Damage |
| Hungary 1946 | 41.9 QUADRILLION % | Prices doubled every 15 HOURS |
| Zimbabwe 2008 | 79.6 billion % monthly | They printed $100 TRILLION bills. Worth nothing. |
| Venezuela NOW | 1,000,000%+ | Still happening. People use USD or crypto instead. |
| Germany 1923 | 29,500% | People literally burned money for heat. Cheaper than wood. |
‘But that can’t happen to the dollar!’ – Someone who hasn’t done the math
The Dollar’s Slow-Motion L:
| Time Period | Value Lost | $100 Became… |
| 1925 to 2025 | 95% | $5 💀 |
| Since Nixon left gold (1971) | 98% vs gold | $2 basically |
| Since 2000 | 47% | $53 |
Your great-grandma: *hides $100 in mattress*
That $100 now: *worth about enough for a Chipotle bowl*
✨ THE VIBE: Hyperinflation and slow debasement are the same thing—just different speeds. Same destination: your money is worth less every single day.
LEVEL 5
GLOBAL BOND MARKET TIER LIST
Who’s cooked and who’s merely warming up
Time to rank the world’s biggest bond markets by how screwed they are:
| Country | Tier | Debt/GDP | Vibe Check |
| Japan | F TIER 💀 | 260% | Absolutely cooked. Not recoverable. |
| USA | D TIER 😬 | 123% | Getting cooked. 7% deficit is crazy. |
| UK | C TIER 😐 | 101% | Not great, not terrible. Just British. |
| Germany | B TIER 👍 | 66% | Actually kinda responsible. Weird. |
| China | A TIER 😎 | 83% | Low debt, full control. Main character energy. |
Japan’s Villain Arc (it affects you too):
In January 2026, Japan’s Prime Minister said ‘what if we spent more money we don’t have?’
The market said ‘absolutely not’ and yields went to the moon.
40-year bonds: 4.24% — highest EVER
10-year bonds: 2.38% — highest in 27 years
🚫🧢 NO CAP: Japan owns $1.2 TRILLION in U.S. bonds. When Japan sells to bring money home, YOUR bond yields go up too. We’re all connected in this mess.
LEVEL 6
WALL STREET’S GROUP CHAT
What the smart money is actually saying (they’re scared)
You know how you only trust product reviews from people who actually bought the thing? Same energy here. These firms manage TRILLIONS. They’re putting their money where their mouth is.
Goldman Sachs:
💬 ‘Gold’s rally reflects THE DEBASEMENT TRADE—people hedging against governments destroying their own currencies.’
Translation: ‘Money printer go brrr = gold go up’
JP Morgan:
💬 ‘Gold now serves as BOTH an inflation hedge AND an alternative to government bonds.’
Translation: ‘Government bonds? In THIS economy? Nah, I’m good.’
BlackRock (literally the biggest asset manager on Earth):
💬 ‘We are UNDERWEIGHT long-term U.S. Treasuries.’
Translation: ‘We manage $10 trillion and we’re literally betting against U.S. government debt.’
Wall Street firms managing trillions:
📉 ‘Actually we’re kinda scared’ 📉
✨ THE VIBE: When Goldman, JP Morgan, AND BlackRock are all saying the same thing, it’s not a conspiracy theory. It’s a consensus.
LEVEL 7
THE $100 TRILLION L
Global debt just hit a number that doesn’t even feel real
$100,000,000,000,000.
That’s $100 trillion. In debt. Globally. Just governments.
Add private debt and it’s $251 trillion. That’s 235% of everything the world produces in a year.
Let’s Break This Down:
| The Stat | The Number |
| Global government debt | $102 trillion |
| Total global debt (everything) | $251 trillion |
| YOUR share (yes you) | ~$12,500 |
| New bonds being issued in 2025 | $17 trillion more |
| Bonds that expire by 2026 | 40% of everything |
💀 REAL TALK: 40% of all global government bonds expire by 2026. They need to refinance at TODAY’S higher rates. Governments that borrowed at 1-2% now have to pay 4-5%. The math is not mathing.
Money Printer Activity:
Global money supply 2021: $80 trillion
Global money supply 2025: $96 trillion
That’s… $16 trillion more dollars in 4 years (20% increase)
Governments: *print $16 trillion in 4 years*
Also governments: ‘Why is there inflation???’
LEVEL 8
THE CASHLESS FUTURE
It’s already here. You just haven’t noticed.
When was the last time you actually used cash? Like… really think about it.
The world is going cashless whether boomers like it or not:
| Where | Cash Usage in 2025 |
| Sweden | 1.3% of transactions. Basically a myth. |
| China (cities) | 91% digital (WeChat/Alipay everything) |
| USA | 84% digital payments |
| UK | Down from 56% (2010) to 12% (2025) |
| Australia | Eliminating paper checks entirely in 2025 |
The ACTUAL Cost of Cash (it’s insane):
Total cost of cash in the US: $200 BILLION per year
Counting errors alone: $40 billion per year
Retailer costs: Up to 15% of revenue just handling cash
Tax evasion via cash (UK): $10 billion per year
Global corruption enabled by cash: $1.26 TRILLION per year
🚫🧢 NO CAP: If we stopped cash-based corruption, we could literally lift 1.4 BILLION people out of poverty. For SIX YEARS. That’s not hyperbole, that’s math.
✨ THE VIBE: The future is digital. Cash is just nostalgia with extra steps.
LEVEL 9
CBDC VS STABLECOIN
One is backed by governments. One is backed by ‘trust me bro.’
This is NOT about Bitcoin or whatever coin your friend won’t shut up about.
This is about the difference between:
- CBDC: Digital money backed by your government (like digital cash)
- Stablecoin: Digital money backed by a company’s pinky promise
The Comparison That Matters:
| Feature | CBDC (W) | Stablecoin (L) |
| Backed by | Your government | A company (lol) |
| If it fails | Still legal money | See: FTX, Luna, etc. |
| Legal tender? | Yes, by law | No, just a contract |
| Can be faked? | Mathematically impossible | Low risk but not zero |
| Regulation | Full government oversight | Offshore vibes |
The Global CBDC Race:
137 countries (98% of global GDP) are building CBDCs right now.
- Already launched: Bahamas, Jamaica, Nigeria
- Testing: China (325 MILLION wallets), India (334% growth)
- Coming soon: EU, UK, Brazil
- Still thinking: US (currently prohibited lol), Canada, Japan
Stablecoins: ‘Trust us, we have reserves’
FTX customers: 😐😐😐
💀 REAL TALK: The question isn’t IF digital currency is coming. It’s whether your government builds it, or you end up using someone else’s.
LEVEL 10
WHAT WE ACTUALLY GAIN
It’s not just ‘no more cash.’ It’s way bigger.
Money Saved (Per Year, US Only):
| What Goes Away | Savings |
| Printing costs | $1.04 billion |
| Cash handling costs | $200 billion |
| Counting errors | $40 billion |
| Tax evasion (addressed) | $500+ billion |
| Global corruption (traceable) | $1.26 trillion |
Other Ws:
- Counterfeiting: Literally impossible (cryptography goes hard)
- Robbery: Can’t steal what isn’t physical
- Money laundering: Every transaction has a receipt
- Cross-border payments: Seconds, not 3-5 business days
- Financial inclusion: A phone = a bank account
What We Lose:
- Armored truck industry (RIP)
- 8.9 tons of ink per day
- Finding a $20 in old jeans (okay this one hurts)
- ATM fees (good riddance)
- Criminals’ favorite tool
✨ THE VIBE: We’re trading a billion-dollar paper manufacturing industry for… instant global payments and traceable corruption. Seems like a fair trade.
LEVEL FINAL
TL;DR FOR PEOPLE WHO SCROLLED
The summary for when you need to sound smart at dinner
Here’s everything you need to know in one page:
- We spend $1 BILLION/year making paper rectangles. Your phone sends money in 3 seconds. 🤡
- Gold hit $5,100 and destroyed every bank prediction in 27 days. They all took L’s.
- Central banks are buying gold (60 tonnes/month) while printing money. They don’t trust themselves.
- Bond yields are rising despite rate cuts. The textbook is wrong. We’re in uncharted territory.
- Paper money has a 100% failure rate. Dollar lost 95% since 1925. This is fine. 🔥
- Global debt: $100+ trillion. That’s $12,500 per person. Including babies. You owe this.
- Japan’s bonds are in crisis. They own $1.2T of US bonds. Their problem = your problem.
- Cash costs $200 billion/year in the US alone. It’s a hidden tax on literally everyone.
- 137 countries are building CBDCs. The digital future isn’t coming—it’s already here.
- CBDC ≠ Crypto. CBDC = government-backed. Stablecoin = ‘trust me bro.’ Know the difference.
The shift is happening. The only question is whether you understand it.
Your grandkids will ask why we used to carry paper rectangles to buy things. You’ll try to explain armored trucks and ATM fees.
They’ll look at you like you look at people who talk about party lines and phone operators.
Now you know. No cap. 🚀
